I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
