Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Randomize
