I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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