Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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