im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
