drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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