I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Randomize
