Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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