that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
