Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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