Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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