Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
literally had 100 drinks last night.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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