Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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