He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
the condom got lost in my hair
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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