Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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