is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
