I feel like abortions should bother me more
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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