hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
