Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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