to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Vodka?
Forever.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
