They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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