My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
