She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Drake has all the answers
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
