I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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