That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
My sheets look like a crime scene.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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