I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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