I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize