some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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