I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
