WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize