I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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