i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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