Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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