Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
