he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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