i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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