The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
