I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
