Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I think my moral compass just broke
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