you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
