someone owes me an orgasm
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
