I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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