Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
