Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You pole danced in your parka.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
