i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Randomize
