its not stalking. its research.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
