I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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