So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
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