I feel like I'm in dance class right now
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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