Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
