I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
