I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize