the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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