Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
My boob is missing a layer of skin
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize