I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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