nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
do herpes really smell.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
then he tried to convert me to islam
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
