I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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