What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
