He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
