doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
