life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
