I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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